I hate myself for being tricked for falling in love

We argue everyday. There was always goodbye kisses in the mornings and "hugging up" with one another as we fell asleep at night. Over the course of time, I find the women of his past, still remain in the present. One, for example, goes to prison and she receives money from him each month. Another, screws over a local drug dealer for $6,000 and he takes out a personal loan for that exact amount. My birthday this year I got a lot of "fuck you's," but nothing else; and I mean nothing. Come to find out, the same $6000 whore gets busted for possession and he pays $1500 to her lawyer for my birthday, while I get all the fuck you's any person can stand. Our first anniversary was the next month- he forgot.