It seems like the holidays really bring out the worst in our marriage. The first time he physically hurt me was on thanksgiving ('07). That was a devastating memory, especially since he wasn't the first man to have done something like that, but because he was the first man I truly loved; we had only been dating since June 21st. I should have left then, but obviously I did not and he has not stopped abusing me or I would be writing happy thoughts.
Every year we spend x-mas eve at his folks. Every year it became more and more personal because of the time together, then '09 he proposed that Xmas, and last year I was an official family member. However, this year for my birthday (labor day weekend) the only thing I received from anyone was an extremely abusive day. Then, I had chemo the next day after the holiday, alone. I have to admit, God that crushed me. Not present, no card, and it's not even that, I didn't even get a "happy birthday" or respect in any manner. But the icing of the cake came a week or so later when I find on a credit card statement that the weekend of my birthday, while my present was torture, he gives his ex-wife (that he has lied about since I've been with him) $1500 so she could retain an attorney for a drug charge she caught the same weekend! I could not get a card, or simple respect, but she gets $1500!!
The next month is our one year wedding anniversary. Guess what I got for that? Hell, he did not even know until I texted him after left to go do what he always does. So, he did come back but that abusive day turned out worse than my birthday.
Nevertheless, tomorrow is the day we go to his fanily's house. I have it set in my mind I will not attend. I do not know if that will be allowed by him. He did make me go to thanksgiving dinner. Regardless, I have not purchased a single gift for him or one member of his family. I have stated I would not since I was devastated by his actions. I dread tomorrow.
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